Body Talk

Friday I was playing tennis and pulled my lower back. Luckily I had a massage already scheduled for that day. On the table Margaret (my massage therapist) said this feels really emotional and asked what was happening right before this happened? I told her that I had lost 8 games in a row to someone I felt I should be beating. The point I hurt myself on, I missed and was very angry. I realized that even though I've been practicing self love now for several years that I still am very hard on myself in sports.

I took this back even further to coming down to the US from Canada at 15 years old, a little greenie ready to take on the basketball world and become an Olympian. I ran into coach Freestone whose style was to tear you down so you would prove her wrong. Sadly, I believed her and took myself out of the game and my dreams. Later I found out that she was telling her first string varsity team that I would take one of their positions on the team before years end. I felt huge waves of grief and sadness at not having gone all the way with that dream. I had known this but never felt it all the way through it.

I realized that I've been internally coaching myself from this place ever since. That even though I'm a Genius coach and see the potential of others and cheer them on, I don't do the same for myself. I'm often critical and expect perfection from myself.

I'm also in the middle of another transition where I am moving into being an international speaker and I have not been my own best activist. This weekend I have had some time to think, since I have been confined to sitting until I can get into my chiropractor on Monday. I see this injury as a gift. To remind me to love myself and to learn to coach myself in an entirely new way. I wonder if I might have been taking myself out of yet another dream. As much as I use all the skills and tools I teach, I realize that I haven't been holding myself as whole which is the most essential thing a coach can do for their clients. I feel like I have created a tremendous amount of success for myself even with this old coaching style, so I'm excited to see what I can create from using my own inner genius coach to champion me both on and off the court. I recommit to see myself as whole.

I have already made the Varsity Speaking team and I am playing first string. As a starting player I commit play full out.

So, dear reader what "Varsity Team" have you already made that in your mind you are still trying out for? Would you be willing to congratulate yourself and start playing?

Peace Out
Megan